’ ‘Did you write about me?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘May I read those?’ Frightened, I tried to smooth it over. ‘Some are just stories.’ ‘Will I be able to tell?’ ‘Yes, I think so.’ ‘How?’ ‘You will know.’ I told Jon how to get to my stories, Ted’s too. We talked for quite a long time more, finally, time to sleep. I couldn’t sleep, I was up and down. I felt the glimmerings of tears and fought back, ‘Damn it, 14 days, no medicine!’ I finally gave up, and took a pill. I slept the sleep of the dead, and woke to the Sun shining in past the bare branches of winter. One egg in the poacher, and I was sipping my first cup of coffee, the phone rang. It was Jon. ‘Hi, did you sleep good?’ ‘Yes, I had to take a pill.’ ‘Oh, I am sorry, are you OK?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘I read your stories.’ ‘All of them?’ ‘Yes, all of them.’ Silence, I felt the clawing at my chest, bubbles formed in my eyes. ‘Well?’ ‘You write very well,’ he told me. ‘I don’t think so.’ ‘I read Ted’s stories, too.’ ‘ALL of them?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘But he has 100 posted,. It really wasn't until Emma was sixteen or seventeen that they started to go out as a couple. And of course that just ratcheted up my dislike of him even more.And Clark knew I didn't like him. I'd overheard him talking to Emma once, when she was eighteen or so, when he'd asked her, "What is with that little prick, every time I come over he--" Don't call him that, he's my favorite little almost-brother, I love him," my baby sitter answered."Almost brother! He's a jerk. Christ, did you see him, his little hands curled into fists the second I came into the room. It's like he's trying to protect your honor." And what's wrong with that?" Emma asked.I was eleven that summer, Clark was twenty-one.Emma married him three summers later. By that time I'd come to understand what I was losing. She danced with me at the reception. And in her white gown and with her shining, happy eyes she'd broken my heart. Late into that night, hours after the reception had ended, I'd sat crying in my mother's.
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